I wrote this short blog as part of a focus on hidden disabilities at my work. I hope it helps if it resonates with you.
It’s time to make anxiety (a commonly perceived invisible disability) visible! Fear and anxiety are possibly the most common emotional responses to the COVID-19 upheaval. I work in the global ratings editorial team and I hide anxiety behind a smile most days.
It’s normal to occasionally experience anxiety, such as when we’re faced with a high-stakes presentation or a big unexpected problem. But when we constantly get trapped in false or limited ways of thinking, it starts to interfere with everyday life. In my case, I’ve struggled with dealing with deadlines (I should be used to them!), accepting the quality of my work, relationships with people, and speaking up. Thankfully I am so much better these days, but I wanted to share some of the ways I’ve faced my fears and calmed myself.
Anxiety traps at work
Catastrophizing: Imagining the worst possible outcome “This presentation will be terrible because I’ve not planned enough.”
Mind reading and fortune telling: Imagining what the future holds without facts “This person will think I’m not good enough.”
Black and white thinking: Considering only two possible outcomes “This will go as planned or it will be a disaster.”
Overgeneralizing or dimming down success: “I think I did okay when I won that contest but I could do much better.”
People pleasing and overwhelm: Saying “yes” to everything, even when the task is not understandable and refusing to seek help when overworked.
Perfectionism and constant checking: The feeling that nothing is ever good enough and it’s 110% or nothing.
Judgment fixation: Feeling constantly judged by colleagues and managers.
Procrastination: Lack of focus on specific, often challenging tasks or projects.
Physical symptoms, such as sweating, adrenaline surges, trembling, or shortness of breath.
You are not alone
Acknowledge that it’s highly likely a few of your colleagues may be experiencing or have suffered from anxiety. It is extremely common for people at work to be handling two jobs–managing their anxiety and performing their job role. We are all wonderful performers.
They’re not judging you
People are looking out for themselves. How you see yourself is not the same as through the eyes of someone else. So many of us feel “judged” without realizing that the average person is actually far too consumed with their own life and fears to actively watch or judge someone else.
Just ask, and have the courage to say no
Don’t get to breaking point before you seek help. Agreeing to unrealistic deadlines will only exacerbate stress and fuel the cycle of worry. Have the courage to say no in the nice way that only you can. And if you’re having an awful day, colleagues and friends will want to help you. Have a virtual coffee and catch-up.
Shifting perspective
Perspective can open possibilities or suffocate us and close doors. Are any of our thousands of daily thoughts unproductive, hurtful, or not based on facts? This year I’ve been more inspired to put my personal and work woes into perspective, the small stuff that I sweat over. I work with a smile on my face, intending to connect with my colleagues on a more personal level.
Be kind to yourself and others
I often ask myself “is this helping or harming me?.” I ask myself what I’d say to a friend or colleague if they didn’t feel enough, turning self-talk into self-compassion. View yourself as the source of whatever support you want to experience.
Get outside
Nature offers one of the most reliable boosts to our mental and physical wellbeing. Benefits include improved short-term memory, restored mental energy, stress relief, and reduced inflammation.
Gratitude rocks
Practising gratitude puts life into perspective. It turns what we have into enough. Throughout this year of upheaval, I have felt love. I felt love through gratitude for the very things in my life that most deserved my gratitude.
Invest in you and breathe
Only when I set up my own personal wellness routine did I really start to manage anxiety. This meant getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, and allowing enough time for non-work related activities such as exercise. Allowing myself a complete break (often outside) from my desk to read, run, or write is my “recharge” during the day. I’m a novice meditator, but it’s a gamechanger – and I would recommend reading James Nestor’s new book “Breath” for insights on how breathing techniques can alleviate anxiety.
Write it out
Writing thoughts down is an amazing way of releasing bottled up worries and emotions or simply, trying to map out a conversation you're hesitant about. Affirmations help us to shift perspective, and we get more out of them when we write them ourselves. I pin mine to my desk or write them in a journal.
I used to think that anxiety was a living breathing part of me, but over the years, I’ve gradually learned and accepted that it tells lies and that going to war with it is simply not worth it. It got to a point where I recognized I needed to let go and surrender, trying to let the thoughts (that are just thoughts) pass. This can be a hard long journey. I’m still learning to be kind to myself in these moments, but I know it will never define me. Anyone who has experienced heightened anxiety is not weak, powerless, or unlovable.
I’m thankful for the people I work with every day. They are open-minded, inclusive, encouraging, and kind—one of the reasons why I’m no longer always stuck in the anxiety cycle. I am truly grateful for the opportunities, resources, and support that my workplace offers, be it through recharge opportunities, the support of our leadership through turbulent times, our community and corporate responsibility initiatives, and the work of our awesome employee resource groups.
My first book “Words for the Restless” (a collection of poetry and quotes about anxiety) will be published by early 2021. You can also read my words on Instagram @wordsfortherestless.
