On my birthday one of my gym friends said he hoped my day was reflective. Amidst the COVID-19 backdrop, it certainly was. I am truly grateful for everything…my feeling every single day right now.
Back in January, I bought one of those motivational goal journals that claims to make success inevitable (SELF Journal by Best Self Co). I’d really recommend it for creating a daily structure, which also encompasses gratitude and daily wins. It was January and I succumbed to the usual call to set amazing, ambitious goals…in my case, relating to my personal writing venture and gym skills.
When I glanced through the pages at the end of the 13 weeks, I felt overwhelmed. I wasn’t disappointed that I’d not achieved my somewhat unrealistic goals, but at the gratitude I’d expressed for the small things in life. Not any personal bests in the gym or new possessions, but the words someone said to change my day and the everyday experiences that I can take for granted.
What is the happiest event that happened this week? One week it was meeting a black labrador puppy, another, kicking up properly into a handstand, and the next, a work colleague gifting me a book about faith. Other happy events were receiving a message from my best friend about the difference a poem I wrote for her late father made, exchanging a hug with a gym buddy and some feedback I received at work which confirmed my anxiety isn’t real.
How about the biggest lesson learned this week? Definitely a self-care theme here…I need more sleep – you can’t run anything on an empty tank. You are what you think – if you think you’re a loser you’ll feel like one. Less social media makes me feel better and fuels my creativity. I need to make time to be alone and clear my thoughts. And, I am stronger and better than I think. Don’t set unrealistic goals in busy and stressful weeks. Never judge people, you don’t know what’s going on inside.
And weekly gratitude (most of this was before lockdown):
To be alive
My rock of a husband and family (animals included)
My 6:30 am gym coach and squad
Flexibility with my work
Decent night’s sleep
Holidays
Lunch at work with an inspiring colleague visiting from the U.S.
This new day
Birdsong
Friends making me smile (you know who you are)
The girl who made my Starbucks coffee
The black labrador and his wonderful story
Simon – forever in my heart
The wonderful colleague and friend sitting next to me in my office
Gorgeous evenings
Opportunities despite overwhelm
Sunny winter days
Time on my own
Feeling physically stronger
My kind colleagues in Hyderabad and Mumbai
Two pillars of strength (both called Jenny)
My kind intelligent beautiful sister
My body
The most beautiful card from my oldest friend
Birdsong one side and moonlight the other
My lovely mum
Poetry
A warm house, amazing what we take for granted
A colleague in Denver’s words brightening up my day
The lady in Pret who connected with me
CrossFit Sunday workouts
The beautiful sunrise
Days on my own, just walking
My friend for always inspiring me to do better
Lovely massage
Amazing to be loved by Felix the cat
My beautiful cousin
Dozing on the train
My amazing supportive beautiful sister
My snug bed and being safe
Soya lattes
Days at home warm in bed
Togetherness – being able to work out at the gym
The most beautiful book: “The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down”
Despite the jargon of the SELF journal “to create something that lends itself to making success inevitable – through planning, execution, and management,” I don’t think I really succeeded in any particular goal, but I did feel love. I felt love through gratitude for the very things in my life that most deserved my gratitude. And with humankind facing a global crisis, never has this been more powerful and important.
Life as we know it has changed forever. Anyone else getting flashbacks of what life used to be like? Truth be told, I get overwhelmed with the constant stream of messages on social media to “power through” and “come back stronger” and the constant feed of memes and pictures of fancy home gym and office set-ups. Maybe the “brave new world” isn’t what some of us are ready for right now, and the discomfort we’re feeling is touch starvation, attachment issues, relationship conflicts, lack of purpose, anxiety…and sheer grief.
We may not be able to touch each other, but we can share words, messages of gratitude to our global frontline workers, and we can share love to all, be it through letters, texts, email, and calls. Keep it real, be you, stay safe, and stay compassionate. We will get through this.
Image: Emma Hobbs.